i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
