I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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