Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
