Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize