Do vagina's smell?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
