my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize