Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Randomize
