i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
