i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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