I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
