So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
