also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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