Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
