She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
