I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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