i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
