please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
