I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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