I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
