the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
