you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
