oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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