After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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