I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
