fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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