i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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