it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
