Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
is it fun? or sober?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
