Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
