This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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