I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
