Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
