O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
