Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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