eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
