this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
