Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
