dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
