FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
