So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Small penises have feelings too.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
