this boner is exhausting
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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