A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
