IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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