i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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