Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
