Pappa wants mamma naked
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
