I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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