Swine flu. Run for my life!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
