weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
