Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
