Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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