What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
