If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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