i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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