we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
