Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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