no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
